Can’t Preach That!

May 16, 2008

I just came across this little song today posted by Tominthebox News Network. It has a very catchy tune and fun lyrics, but pay attention. Even though it is fun, there is a lot of truth and fact to the satire they make of preachers like Osteen, Warren, Hybels, McLaren, or Schuller. ‘Preaching’ may be how they describe it, but it is not the true exegetical preaching of God’s Word.

Click here to listen to Can’t Preach That! or view entire post to read the lyrics.—>

You can’t preach that. You can’t preach that. You can’t preach that.

Bad, bad, bad, bad preaching irks me
So hard, Makes me say, oh my word,
What are, you teaching me?
What am I to try to think, heresy?
It’s no good, and it makes me frown,
A really bad exegete breaking it down,
So put it, out of reach
Cuz this kinda stuff, uh, you can’t preach

I told you Joel Osteen
You can’t preach that

Yeah, that’s what you preaching and you know…
You can’t preach that

Get a commentary or something…man…
You can’t preach that.

Yo, let me bust some exegesis
You can’t preach that.

“Send your money, and see
Your bank account grow, you can dress like me.
So move, off of your seat
And get a credit card and catch this beat,
You’ll be rolling, hold on,
The blessings come a flowing
You won’t know what’s going on,
like that, like that
Your bank account growing till it’s really really fat,”
Now that’s dirty, like sand at the beach
And that kinda stuff, uh, you can’t preach.

Yo, I told you Creflo Dollar,
You can’t preach that.

Why you keep preaching that man,
You can’t preach that.

Yo, read you Bible, it ain’t in there man,
You can’t preach that.

You want a choice or freedom
Make your decisions, you know you need um.
Now, you know,
If it was up to you you’d always say “no”
You think, you’re right
You call us heretics all day and night

So stop your crazy speech,
Cuz that of stuff, uh, you can’t preach

That’s word Dave Hunt, cuz you know,
You can’t preach that

Man, where are you getting all that stuff from?
You can’t preach that

Man, why you got to call us heretics?
You can’t preach that

Why don’t you just go write your Berean Call,
Break it down.

Stop…Schuller time

“Go with the times,” it is said,
If you preach like this then your preaching is dead,
So wave your hands in the air
Do what you want, people just don’t care.
Just tell them, some tale
About a puppy dog that lost his tail,
Now ready, set, and jump
Just for a minute let’s sell lots of junk.

Junk, junk, junk

Yeah,
You can’t preach that

Look man,
You can’t preach that

You better get right man cus you know you can’t
You can’t preach that

Read your Bible
School’s back in.

Break it down.

Stop…Phelps time…

(long interlude)

You can’t preach that
You can’t preach that
You can’t preach that
Break it down

Stop…listen up

Paul and new perspective, health wealth, prosperity,
Emerging church, gay marriage, and liberality.

Now why would I ever care for this junk,
I listened to these preachers and each one stunk.

They’re all around the world
From London to L.A.

It’s send me this,
send me that,
send me what you got,
And you’re blessing’ll come today.

You can’t preach that.
You can’t preach that.

Break it down

Advertisements

2 Responses to “Can’t Preach That!”


  1. Good Blog. I will continue reading it in the future. Nice layout too.

    Aaron Wakling

  2. Matt from Solus Cristus Says:

    Thanks Aaron. It is good to know that there are those who appreciate true preaching.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: